The Foundation of Compassion
Great anxiety and grief have been awakened in the world during the pandemic. The image that comes to my mind is an iceberg, an iceberg made out of fear and anxiety and grief. Before the pandemic only 1/10 was visible. Somehow the loss and the uncertainty of our current situation has revealed what was always under the surface. We’ve been thrown under the surface. We’ve been forced to look into the dark deep. There we encounter the fear and the grief there, unexamined. How can we transform this encounter with the depths of our fear into an initiation? How can we bear the collective grief of humanity during this fearful time and be inspired to open ourselves ever more deeply? Clearly we must deepen our compassion, find the courage to let our hearts be spacious and be connected.
I’ve talked to several people who fear being overwhelmed unless they push away their fear and grief. How long can one try to not feel the collective pain without becoming exhausted? There are three ways to respond to suffering. First we can push it away, stay busy, deny its existence or pretend to ourselves we have everything under control. Secondly we can get lost in the suffering, become completely identified with it. In English we say “I am afraid.” In Spanish we say “I have fear.” (Yo tengo miedo) and in Tibetan “Fear is here.” How much more difficult it is not to get lost in our emotions when we’re thinking and speaking English!
Gratefully there is a third possibility– resting in compassion. The compassionate heart is spacious, warm, and connected. In fact, the true nature of our heart is boundless sky-like spaciousness, without end. Due to our conditioning however we imagine there is a window frame around the sky that is our heart which limits how much of the sky we can see. If a large enough cloud of fear comes into our sky-like heart bounded by our imagined window frame, all we see is the cloud of fear. We say “I am afraid.” We’re lost in the fear. We identify with it. Through practice, through cultivating compassion we expand the window frame. The same sized cloud of fear can come into our window frame bounded sky, but now we see the cloud is contextualized in a pure blue background of sky. Beyond that we see cloud is moving. The cloud will eventually be gone from view. Fear is here but is only a passing cloud in the vast sky that is the nature of our compassionate heart. Are we the cloud or are we the sky? Is the sky ever changed by the passing clouds?
The connected nature of the compassionate heart can be experienced as connection to ourselves, to others, and to the sacred. The warm nature of the compassion of heart is a combination of a loving heart and a generous heart. So we have three possible compassion practices. Cultivate a spacious heart, a connected heart, a warm heart. Choose one these three and throughout the day ask yourself “Is my heart spacious?”, “Is my heart connected?” or “is my heart warm.”
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
~ HH The Dalai Lama
I heard a comment recently that when the tide goes out it becomes apparent who does not have on a bathing suit. Similarly the pandemic is revealing the deficiencies in the US. We thought we were the greatest country! How disappointing! I cannot recall a period in my life, and I am long in the tooth, when there was a greater abundance of difficulty, despair, and disappointment. And not just here but for everyone in the world. And I haven’t even mentioned fear.
More than ever we must fly our flags in our spacious compassionate hearts.
thank you so much for this enlightening essay. I am nearly 70 years now. Started losing significantly back in 2015 when my sister died of cancer. I was diagnosed with a rare sarcoma a year or so later. I lost my right arm to it almost 1 year ago now. I have been reading Ram Das since Be Here Now came out . I have studied yoga and have attended 10 day vipassana course with a wonderful teacher Goenka Ji. Recent CT of my chest has revealed a couple nodules in my lung. I have undergone numerous surgeries to my right arm. I had radiation, the toxic chemo, the works as they say. Now they want to start the whole thing up again with the treatments . I am not returning their calls. the way I see it is this; I have limited time left. I am in the last act. not sure how much longer I have but don’t want to spend it doing these treatments which as far as I can tell will not help. I just discovered your podcast recently. Your words are giving me strength to continue without reservation to widen that picture frame. thank you for reaching out.
Thanks so much for your work and for the recent 90 minute retreat presenting tools for these uncertain times. I have a practice of meditation which I have been doing with the teacher, Prem Rawat for some forty yrs but I am realizing that while it is a very simple practice; I have not dug deep enough within to heal towards dying. I am drawn to hospice nursing and am currently in North Carolina working at 71yrs of age as a staff nurse on night shift in a wonderful retirement community. Yes, I have felt my fear and anxiety surface and am comforted by your encouragement to go deeper into my practice. Sincerely, Maggie
Thank you for holding healing space. Your beautiful teachings have grounded me and helped me immensely during this inner awakening. “May all beings find a joy that transcends happiness and sadness.” from your last podcast _/|\_ I’m grateful & appreciate you and all the past moments that lead to this project today ~